3 reasons you don’t want a ‘festival spouse’ this summer

You’re never lonely at a music festival, they say. Yet many seekers of live music weekends tend not to heed these words and look for a romantic partner, whether previously known to them or met in the very first beer queue, ‘for the weekend’.

It’s understandable, I guess. When the euphoria of escaping to another world – one where few of the rules from the rat race apply – it’s tempting to want to make that transformation complete. In the real world, you’re alone, watching sitcom reruns every night until you fall asleep in a haze induced by french fries and self-abuse. In the music festival world, everything seems perfect, including your love life, so you hook up with the nearest available target to complete the picture. Here’s why you shouldn’t.

(1) All rules are left at the gate

You don’t get to choose which “outside” rules apply at a music festival and which don’t. So consider whether you’d enjoy missing the act you were most looking forward to simply because you’re too worried, having no idea where your “partner” is, or you do know and a raging jealousy destroys you as he’s/she’s cosying up to the world’s worst band’s worst roadie, right in front of you.

(2) The sex will be uncomfortable (at best)

Partners get to know each other’s bodies and needs over time. But even if the first time with someone new is great, the atmosphere when you’re in a small tent, dirty, possibly with plenty of alcohol or other substances in your veins (or on the floor), becomes less than romantic. If, however, that’s usually the case for you anyway, feel free to discard this point.

(3) You don’t want any explaining to do

The lack of responsibility that accompanies a weekend away at a music festival is one of the main reasons we keep on doing it. Do you really want to be chewed out for forgetting to lock the tent, or for taking three shots in a row, or for dancing stupidly and embarrassing her/him? No.

Experiencing a music festival in and around Cape Town with your partner is great. Creating a partner to do this with is not.